OK. I'd like to start a new thread here: New Fortune Cookies.

These are cookies of two varieties. The first is questions intended to make people think more critically about their own role in their fortunes. The second is their fortunes that take into account the fact that they have just been told their fortunes.

1. But for this fortune, you will forget to pack an important item before you embark on your next long journey, and you will tell yourself (when you remember that you have forgotten to pack the item) "It is of no consequence, for I will purchase that item when I arrive at my destination" except where you are going, there are no items of importance.

2. But for this fortune you will make the biggest mistake of your life tomorrow, but hearkening back to this moment, that mistake will be averted, clearing the way for your biggest mistake to occur at some unspecified time next month.

3. But for this fortune, you would be enriching your life right now, perhaps meeting a new person or reading some enlightening passage from a book you could not have purchased because you are still reading this fortune, even though it is wasting your time and in fact telling you that it is wasting your time which you are still wasting because these words are no more than warnings of wasted time. Still you persist, thinking to redeem your wasted time with a scrap of wisdom from a scrap of paper that has no wisdom to give. Stop! Though you cannot turn back, you can still give up. No? Then we will give up for you.

4. Do you honestly think that people tell you the truth about yourself?

5. How will you justify this moment to the love who is looking for you?

6. But for this fortune, you would forget to send the birthday card that you now are remembering to send. Maybe you will in fact send it, or maybe you will forget again, compounding your shame when you admit to the birthday celebrant "You know, I got a fortune cookie that told me to send you a card." Either way, you will lose face because you now must either admit that you were warned and forgot just the same, or that the only reason you remembered was because of a $0.50 fortune cookie. Jerk.

That's all for now.