So and So Should be . . .

Anyone who considers him or herself an aficionado of experimental jazz should be burned. Not burned so much that they actually die. I'm not willing to take it that far. Just burned badly over a small portion of their body, and on a regular basis.

I'm thinking maybe the fingertips would be the best spot. Everyday they should be forced to lightly touch a sizzling grill or a red-hot coal for 30 to 60 seconds so that blisters the size of dimes overtake their very most extremities. Imagine that cruel burst of pain every time they unthinkingly snap their fingers, run a hand through their own hair in frustration, or desperately caress the skin of a loved one.

This -- nothing less and nothing more -- is precisely what they deserve.