Thursday, July 29, 2004

I want junk food.
 
I want junk food for no reason.  I am not hungry.  I do not want to get fat.  I do not crave either sweet or salty right now.  Still, I want junk food.
 
Specifically, I want some of the cake that is in the kitchen.  Other people will eat it if I do not ACT NOW.  I am constantly besieged by messages telling me I must ACT NOW.  I could lose out on an opportunity that may NEVER COME AGAIN IN MY LIFETIME.  This could be my moment.  I can have my cake, but only if I agree to eat it.   And that, my friend, is what I don't want to do. 
 
In the flea market of appatite, the sign reads "eat it now or regret it later."  That is what I tell myself as I try to keep my tush firmly in the office chair of my self-discipline. 
 
Who among us has never wanted something simply becuase it is available?  What man does not know the aphorism "Willing is sexier than beautiful"?  And is there any who could stand in a court of his peers and not admit this truth: we are driven to feats of maddnes by what is unattainable and desired, BUT ALSO by what is undesired until it is offered to us.
 
This is why we hate ugly women: we know that any of them could have us if they were insistent and more present than we were in our own lives.  And what man does not frequent vacations? 
 
Surely our appatites are danger, mitigated not by our will power, but only by our other appatites, for we are ruled ultimately not by our rules--ethical codes, philosphies, religion--but by our rulers: desires, needs, and appatites that are forever blind, slavering and unfulfilled.